Happy New Week, Latisticians. Because I’m a poor writer and can’t generate 400 words of original content without resorting to random sentence generation software, here is a selection of New Year’s messages stolen from social networking Internet website trollfacebook.com.
(Ed.: Presumably that last part was sliced off by a restrictive character limit or automatic censorship algorithm. However, I’m fairly sure the final words would have been ‘slick operator’.)
(Ed.: This message was deleted five minutes later along with a second post claiming that Manchester United had made a £3,000,000 bid for Will Grigg. Also attached to the latter was a photograph of a white bull terrier wearing a Santa hat. Er… allegedly.)
(Ed.: That wasn’t me, but Gareth’s own editor removing the words ‘I still could have done a better job’. And I have no idea who this mysterious Gaz Coldwall dude/dudette might actually be.)
(Ed.: This was in response to Brighton fans questioning Newcastle’s ability to win the Championship title this year. Well, I thought it was funny.)
Well, that was the easiest article I’ll ever ‘write’. Keep on being obnoxious, Trollfacebook – it saves me a job. Now clear off while I nurse this lemonade and diet cola hangover with liquidised carrots and extra cripsy baconated cheese.